The Scottish Weather Forecast

Stuart moved from Scotland to England to start his dream job – forecasting weather on TV. He became only a forecaster of bad weather. They had Bill to report upcoming good weather. “Hey Stu, it´s gonna be quite shitty tomorrow, so it´s your day to tell the nation!” Stuart didn´t mind this at first, but people didn´t like him for the negative weather forecast. He faced humiliation, nasty calls and sometimes serious black mails: Another storm, bastard, I´ll kill you! Stuart came from Scotland, and reported the weather with a strong Scottish accent. The English made fun of him. Funny thing about his forecast, they were 100 % accurate. They promised Stuart, they he would get the positive weather forecast position once it would be free. Well, Bill accepted a different job offer, but they replaced him not by Stuart but by a hot young model, hoping to gain higher viewing. “Sorry, Stu, but you don´t have tits size 5,” Stuart got angry. When he was about to report snow storms, he told the viewers with his accent: “Oi, nice sunshine, 30 degrees, lads!” Regardless the expectations, it was really a hot sunny day in January. Stuart did it again, reported a false forecast, and his forecast became true. He learnt he could affect the weather by forecasting anything he wanted. Because he hated England, he just forecasted rain storms, high wind, cold etc. And he forecasted himself nice sunshine above his accommodation. They didn´t know what to do. They were desperately thinking of a solution how to stop Stuart. Then a five year boy came to the studio and told them: “I am tired of this shitty weather, why don´t you fire him!” They followed his advice and Stuart lost his job and couldn´t forecast anymore and ended up as a toilet cleaner.